Am I cut out for this?

Well my fellow sugars, he kept his word and made the deposit. The only thing that I didn't like is that he deposited a check. If the check doesn't go through, I will be screwed. I decided to open a second checking account just for this arrangement so it won't affect my regular account if there is a problem with the next deposit (if there is a next deposit).

So here we are a week later, I've paid some of my credit cards and have been able to treat myself to a few small things. He has also been really sweet, surprising me with a Vicky secret gift card and other sweet random things.

So earlier this week he said he would have time to see me early Thursday morning. I work from home a few days a week, so it's not a prob to block out a little time on my calendar. We decided to meet at 8:00 am, which is kinda early, but what the heck and he said he would bring breakfast. So this morning he calls me at 7:30 and says please don't be mad, but I'm early. I'm sooo NOT a morning person and 8:00 was pushing it. I was so annoyed that he was here so early. I was really trying to get my head together to be happy and sweet, but it was so damn early. I keep thinking, he kept his end of the deal I have to keep mine. I didn't even have time to pull myself together and look cute.

So we eat, and were watching television and he is sitting next to me and just starts staring at me and making me feel uncomfortable. He asks, am I making you feel uncomfortable? And I tell him, I'm not used to someone staring at me like that. He says, I was just waiting for you to give me a kiss. So I give him a peck. He asks, can I have a real kiss? I couldn't do :-(

I don't know if I was in a crappy mood because it's 8 in the morning and he wants to be cuddly and cute or if it was I hadn't had my Starbucks yet. The odd thing is, I was prepared to have sex, so if he wanted to do it, I would have been okay, but I didn't feel like kissing him if that makes sense? He had planned to stay until 10, but he just left. I feel sooo bad that I didn't want to kiss him and I feel like I should do whatever he wants, but I just felt so uncomfortable kissing him this morning. Maybe it would have been different if he came a little later, but I just couldn't get my head together at 7:30. I'm going to call and apologize and let him know that I'm not a morning person and I hesitated when I agreed to meet so early, but I didn't want to tell him no.

Maybe we shouldn't try the morning get togethers again? I guess it shouldn't make a difference, but I just wasn't up for it this morning. What the heck. Does that mean the SB/SD arrangement isn't for me?? I'm going back to sleep for a while :-(

UPDATE: So, I called to apologize (no answer), sent an email and a text to apologize for not being in a great mood or kissy this morning. And he responds by saying, "you deserve better". WTF, does that mean he is done with me? I texted him to ask what he meant by that and no response. I may have really screwed up and I feel sick to think I will have to go through this process all over again. I wish I would have really just forced myself to kiss him. I hope he comes around and stops being angry at me.

What do y'all think? Am I a total jackass for not being kissy this morning?

~G

Lunch with potential #2

So I had lunch last week with the second potential from CL "DS". Lunch went fine and we seem to get along well. We text and communicate daily. After lunch, he said he forgot to give me something and he would mail it. When it arrived it was a $100 Visa giftcard. It was perfect timing b/c I really need to buy groceries. I go to Publix and start loading my cart with all kinds of stuff. Not anything crazy, but it was nice to splurge a little and get Figi water, non-publix brand food and a few other non-budget type things. Anyhow, I get to the register unload everything get ready to pay and the card doesn't work! I tired at least three times and finally had to leave the store AND the groceries. I was M-O-R-T-I-F-I-E-D! How embarassing is it to get all that stuff and have to leave it behind? Especially after holding up the line. Anyhow, after I picked my face and pride up off the floor I went to my car to call the 1-800 number. Come to find out the card was never activated. You know how you can just grab the card from the store, well after you pay, the cashier has to activate it for it to work. I sent DS a text and he was confused because he said he gave the cashier the cash and thought everything was okay. I didn't know what to think. I was so upset and depressed all day. I guess I was angrier with myself for allowing this to happen. 1.) I need to do a better job of budgeting my money 2.) I should have checked the balance before I left the house.

Anyhow, he came by yesterday and gave me the cash and took the non-active card. We also had a little more time to hang out and get to know each other a little better. He said that he would like to start depositing $1500 in my account for the first three months and we will see how things go after that. That sounds good to me, that would be a HUGE help for me and my financial situation. He said he going to make the first deposit tomorrow morning to pay my rent. I'm trying not to get too excited because I will be crushed if he is playing with my emotions and starts making excuses about why he can't do it.

I couldn't help myself and I looked at the Saks site at a few Gucci purses, but I'm still trying to stay calm until I check my account balance tomorrow. I also wouldn't mind a Michele watch, but again I'm really trying not to get ahead of myself. The first thing I want to do is pay off my credit cards and pay off some bills. Hopefully tomorrow I can start making a dent in some of my debt. I will let you guys know. I'll either be smiling or crying during my next blog entry.

~G

Soggy, rainy weekend

This was the perfect weekend to just stay in and watch movies. It's been raining since Wednesday. No real sugar updates. There is another guy that responded to my CL ad that seems interesting. I'm going to meet him at Starbucks this week. The first CL dude "Mr. T" has disappeared and I haven't heard from him which is fine. At least I got enough to pay a bill or two, a few great meals and I didn't have to do anything :)

I hoping to find someone soon, I need a new Blackberry!

P.S. I fell off the master cleanse bandwagon. I lasted a good three days. You can't really have a social life while you're doing it and I couldn't turn down a sushi girl's night out this week. I guess I will have to dust off my Nikes and hit the gym.

~G

The good, the bad and Craigslist

So a few weeks ago, since it was kinda slow on the dating site, I decided to give the dreaded CL a try. There are a ton a fakes wierdos on CL, so I had to be very specific in my post. For some reason my post was flagged after an hour, but before that "Mr. T" responded. He and I exchanged a few emails and photos . I decided it would be okay to meet him at a very public place to see if there was a connection. He was googleable and used his real name, which I think is very rare on CL, so I kept my fingers crossed. He was also ready to meet right away which was another good sign.

So we met two days later for dinner and he was very sweet and looked just like his photo. He is a 50 yr old divorced man with two teenage children. We had a great conversation and I decided I wouldn't be grossed out if I had to sleep with him. That's the tricky thing about the SB/SD deal. What if you met the richest man ever, but you couldn't let him touch you unless you took a few shots of tequila to numb the pain because he looked so dreadful. Could you still do it? I'm not 100% sure I could yet. I digress. So dinner goes well, we call it a night and I go home. We text on and off for a week or so and I decide to ask for some cash to see how serious he is. I asked for $450 to pay some bills and he put the money in my account. Score! We plan our second date, and I figure he may pressure me for "intimacy" since he came through for me earlier in the week. He claims to love sushi and we go to a really nice Buckhead sushi restaurant. When the sushi arrived he tried to eat with the chopsticks and failed miserably. I just smiled and told him to just use the fork. I think he claimed to like sushi to impress me, which was kinda sweet. After dinner we went to a bar he likes with a live band and danced and listened to music. We left and he walked me to my car and I came home.

The weird part is I've only talked to him a few times after the second date. I got a weird text from him on Sunday saying he will have a girlfriend in town Wed-Sun and he will be busy, Sorry! I was kinda shocked, because I was just checking in a saying hi and the fact that he added sorry to end of the text kinda turned me off. He sent me a text and said hi on Sat, but we haven't made plans to meet again. I think the next time we meet, we should have the talk about our expectations for the arrangement. His and mine. I'm hoping for a monthly allowance, so I don't have to randomly ask for money, so we will see.

As a side, I decided to start the master cleanse yesterday. I've been eating like a rolly polly since my return from Chicago and I feel like I need to detox my body. My butt is trying to creep up to a size 6, so I need to do a nice detox and get back to my workout regimen. I've been drinking this lemonade mix all day and I wasn't as hungry at work at I thought I would be. The hard part is being at home. I'm going to try this for 10 days. Try is the key word. I've never noticed so many tempting food commercials before. This is going to be rough :)

~G

My first experience

So I signed up for a SB/SD dating site a few months ago. After wasting two months emailing back and forth with a lot of SD wannabes, I finally met a potential. He is from Canada and he emailed me on a Sunday and he was in Atlanta by Friday. I was shocked and figured, okay he must be serious. Here is the tricky part..discussing the actual arrangement. I try to go with the flow and let them bring it up unless they get too touchy feely and aggressive about sex. Then it's time to talk. I've seen so many stories about ladies that sleep with the guys first and never see a dime. Anyhow, when it was time for us to have the talk, he kinda freaked out and said why does everything have a cost? HUH. We met under the pretense of having a SB/SD relationship, why are you acting like you are shocked money is involved. I'm on that site for a reason and I can't pay my bills with dinner! I was sooo annoyed. This guy even has the allowance amount he is willing to pay on his profile, so why the cold feet. I don't understand why these guys waste their time (and mine) if they aren't ready. Anyhow, we still hung out for the weekend and he said he would email me when he got back. He sent me an email and said he could only offer me half of what he posted because I'm so far away. That was a load of crap, he knew that before he flew here. He just sent me a text and said he wants to meet in NY in two weeks, so we will see how it goes. Oh, I forgot to mention, I was in Chicago last week and sent him a text and said I was low on cash to see how generous he would be and he wired $350. I guess that's a start right?

~G

In search of my SugarDaddy: Take One

I've decided to blog my journey as I seek the perfect SB/SD relationship (is there such a thing). I'm a very attractive female with a great personality and when I see some of these "Sugar Babies" being showered with expensive gifts, I think to myself why not me too. I've had a few interesting encounters, which I will blog about later. But let's cross our fingers and hope that I'm driving a new car and going on endless shopping sprees by the end of the month. If you think that sounds shallow and women should be independent blah, blah, blah, you can keep your opinions to yourself and go read the independent women blog.

~G